Wishful Thinking
by Marni.246
Summary: Ginny is missing Harry when he leaves in DH. All characters belong to JKR.


**I do not own these characters (unfortunately) and the song is Beautiful by Amy Grant + Vince Gill**

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Wishful Thinking

**I'm looking for a way to feel you hold me****  
****Feel your heartbeat just one more time****  
****Reaching back, trying to touch the moment****  
****Each precious minute that you were mine**

Ginny sat on her bed at Hogwarts, numbly staring out her window. She watched as the rain fell against the glass, and the wind created ripples along the pond's surface. With a shaky breath, she looked at the picture in her hands.

It was of Harry and Ginny during Ginny's fifth year, when everything finally fell into place. In the picture, Ginny was standing beside Harry smiling, until Harry gently turned her to face him and kissed her soundly. A shiver ran up Ginny's spine and she dropped the picture as though it had burned her. "How do you do this to me?" she asked miserably.

It had always been Harry. The first thing she remembered noticing about him was his unruly black hair. As soon as he spoke, however, she looked into his green eyes, where she instantly realized that he was the one she wanted to be with. Even though she had been a mere ten years old, he had taken her heart.

Closing her eyes, Ginny thought of their first kiss. She remembered suddenly being in front of Harry, and all the things they said with their eyes alone. She had told him without words how much she wanted him, and he had replied by kissing her. It had definitely been the most wonderful moment of her life. ****

**How do you prepare****  
****When you love someone this way****  
****To let them go a little more each day?**

Ginny stood up and ran a hand through her hair. _I can't take this anymore_, she thought miserably. It hadn't even been three weeks since Bill and Fleur's wedding, and she was already going mad. Without Ron, Hermione, and – especially – Harry, Hogwarts just wasn't the same. Luna and Neville were great friends, but they just weren't the same. Ginny felt that she could only listen to Luna talk about Crumple-Horn Snorcacks for so long before she went insane.

The more Ginny thought about Harry's decision to end things between them – temporarily, mind you – the more upset she became. On one hand, she could definitely understand why he had done it, but on the other hand, she wanted to take a beater's bat and whack him over the head. What had he been thinking.  
Ginny walked down to the common room, still thinking about her situation with Harry. Hadn't she proven herself capable of fighting? She had battled death eaters in her fourth year, and she had also survived a run-in with the soul-sucking memory of Voldemort in her first year. Harry didn't seem to realize how brilliant she actually was, although she had tried to show him numerous times.****

**The stars we put in place****  
****The dreams we didn't waste****  
****The sorrows we embraced****  
****The world belonged to you and me**

Without noticing, Ginny had gone through the portrait hole and out onto the rainy grounds. She made her way over to the pond, and sat at the same tree that she and Harry had often sat at together. The rain was starting to stop, and the sky was gradually darkening for the night. Ginny leaned back against the tree and ran her hand through the wet grass, thinking back on the memory that stuck most in her mind.

**The oceans that we crossed****, t****he innocence we lost****  
****The hurting at the end, I'd go there again****  
****'Cause it was beautiful... It was beautiful**

_ It was awhile after Harry asked her out officially, and they had been sitting in the common room alone together around one in the morning. A fire was lit, and they were curled up on the couch; her head resting on his shoulder, their fingers entwined. They had sat in silence, until Harry said softly, "I love you, Ginny."_  
_ She had definitely been surprised, and had sat up and looked at him. "Harry…."_  
_ He had cut her off, shaking his head and saying, "Ginny, I have loved you for awhile…it just took me forever to realize it. I think it was second year, when I first heard that you were down in the chamber. It did strange things to me."_  
_ Ginny had smiled at him and kissed him passionately. "I love you, too, Harry. I have since the first time I met you."_  
_ Harry had laughed at her, "You were ten!"_  
_ "I know," Ginny said, laughing. _  
_ Harry had kissed her, and somehow she just knew she was ready. When she told Harry, he had paled slightly, but nodded. "Are you sure, Ginny?" _  
_ She returned the nod. "I've never wanted anything more than I want this." They both stood and Harry quietly retrieved his invisibility cloak. While she waited, Ginny felt butterflies at what was going to happen soon. If Ron ever found out about this, he would have a nervous breakdown. Poor bloke._  
_ They walked in silence to the Room of Requirements, and when they entered it was a beautiful bedroom. In the middle of the room was a large bed, and along one wall was a large fireplace with an already-burning fire. _  
_ Harry pulled off the cloak and locked the door. Ginny nervously made her way over to the bed and crawled onto it. Harry walked to the other side and sat on the bed, facing her. "Last chance, Gin."_  
_ But Ginny shook her head, "Harry, I love you. I am the luckiest girl in the world right now, because I have your love and your heart." Harry smiled at her and pulled her closer, his lips meeting hers in a fiery kiss._

Ginny struggled to breathe properly as she once again became aware of her surroundings. That night had been full of passion, love, and _real_ magic.****

**Some days, missing you is overwhelming****  
****When it hits me you're not coming back****  
****And in my darkest hours, I have wondered****  
****Was it worth it for the time we had?**

Ginny refused to believe it was all over. The love she and Harry shared was genuine. What Harry had with Cho – Ginny's blood boiled slightly as she thought about that heart-breaking time – and what Ginny had with Dean had been absolute rubbish compared to what Harry and Ginny shared. They had each given every ounce of their soul to the other, and Ginny felt some cosmic connection to Harry.

Loving Harry for all her life had definitely not been an easy task. When Harry didn't ask her to the Yule Ball, she had felt lower than she ever had. She didn't regret going with Neville…she just wished it had been Harry that she spent the night dancing with. When Harry was dating Cho, Ginny had been at her worst. She had never been more jealous in her life, and she had never wanted to hex someone so badly. It was only through Hermione's wise explanations that Ginny had realized that Harry and Cho wouldn't last.

Thinking back on all the pain, Ginny wondered if it had been worth it. Her heart had been broken so many times that she was starting to fear it would permanently stay that way. If Harry wasn't in her life, she wouldn't be in such a bad state. She wouldn't be constantly worrying that the love of her life would be killed by his mortal enemy; or be incredibly jealous whenever another girl – except Hermione, of course – was near Harry; or be so hurt when he broke it off all in a valiant effort to protect her. With a sigh, Ginny admitted to herself that life would be one hell of a lot easier without her feelings for Harry. Was it worth it to just forget about what they had?****

**My thoughts get kind of scattered****  
****But one thing I know is true****  
****I blessed the day that I found you******

  
Could she forget about all the pain? Definitely. Could she forget about all the other stuff? Definitely not. How could she possibly forget the way he kissed her so passionately that she felt like she would never be able to stand again? Could she forget the way he would hold her close – especially the first night they slept together – and whisper words of love in her ear? Could she forget the sensation of a shiver when he caressed her cheek or held her hand? And most importantly, could she forget the blatant honesty in his eyes when he told her he loved her?  
****

**The stars we put in place**

**The dreams we didn't waste****  
****The sorrows we embraced****  
****The world belonged to you and me**

Tears began to form in her eyes as she realized that she couldn't – and wouldn't – give up her love for Harry for anything in the world. He was her everything, and she loved every minute of being with him. If she hadn't met him that first day at the train station, she knew she would feel as though she were missing a piece of her soul.  
****

**The oceans that we crossed****, t****he innocence we lost****  
****The hurting at the end, I'd go there again****  
****'Cause it was beautiful... It was beautiful******

  
Having come to a decision regarding Harry, Ginny stood and strode back into Hogwarts, not caring that she was drenched to the skin. She luckily avoided meeting Snape, Filch, and Peeves, and made it quickly to the portrait hole. The Fat Lady took one look at Ginny and let out a strangled shriek. "Dear me! What happened to you?"

Ginny merely shrugged and smiled, "I got wet."

The Fat Lady lifted her eyebrows and coughed pointedly. "Indeed."

After Ginny said the password, the portrait swung forward and Ginny drifted upstairs, a slight smile lingering on her lips.  
****

**The rules we stepped aside****  
****The fear that we defied****  
****The thrill of the ride****  
****The fire in our hearts that burned**

After a hasty shower, Ginny changed and crawled into her bed. Even though it was still too early to sleep, she snuggled under her covers and smiled to herself. No matter what anyone said, Ginny knew she would always love Harry. He made her so much happier than she would ever be without him, and that alone was a tell-tale sign that they should be together. Ginny felt they could face any obstacles and overcome anything. Even though she seemed to get hurt time and time again, she was willing to go through it all again just to be with Harry.

**The oceans that we crossed****, t****he innocence we lost****  
****The hurting at the end, I'd go there again****  
****'Cause it was beautiful... It was beautiful**

She hugged a stuffed animal that Harry gave her, and whispered to the empty room, "I will wait for you Harry. I love you." Deep in her heart, she knew he heard her. Their love was that strong.


End file.
